Harry Potter Retcons

I know a lot of people are upset about J.K. Rowling retconning Hermione’s race and Dumbledore’s sexuality, but I’m all for it. In fact, let’s have more canon retcons! Here are some suggestions:

– Harry Potter belongs to an ancient wizarding family that came to England from India. His great-grandparents believed in fostering stronger local wizard-muggle relations, which is why they changed their family name from “Patil” to the stereotypically British “Potter.” Parvati Patil, who is obviously way out of Harry’s league, only went to the Yule Ball with him because he’s her distant cousin and her parents told her to be nice to him.

– Cho Chang is a lesbian, and her relationship with Harry helped her come to terms with her sexuality. Her actual name is Chomei Zhang, and “Cho” is just a nickname. She went to grad school in Hong Kong, where she received a doctorate in Physics. She returned to Hogwarts as a professor before eventually becoming the Head of Ravenclaw.

– Draco Malfoy was a big kid, and one of the reasons he wanted to be the Seeker for Slytherin’s Quidditch team so badly is because it was important to him to prove that you don’t have to be slender and muscular to be a good athlete. Although Lucius Malfoy is a racist and a certified asshole, he loves his son and supported his ambitions by buying the entire team equipment that helped them train and enjoy themselves regardless of their body shapes.

– Gellert Grindelwald is Jewish, and he hates Muggles because of the ultranationalist anti-Semitism that was so prevalent in Europe in the early twentieth century. Dumbledore didn’t want to fight him not just because he was once in love with him, but also because he understood all too well that Grindelwald’s anger was justified.

– Nymphadora Tonks is queer and genderfluid. Remus Lupin is gay, and he met Nymphadora during a period when she was presenting as male. The beginning of their relationship was awkward not because Lupin is a werewolf, but because conversations surrounding the validity of bisexuality within the gay community were still evolving in the 1990s and early 2000s.

– Sirius Black’s family disowned him because he had trouble presenting as neurotypical. He was able to survive Azkaban because he already had experience dealing with the symptoms related to the mental and emotional strain caused by dementors. Also, Azkaban got really good wireless reception, and Sirius used the skills he gained while creating the Marauder’s Map to pioneer the magic internet, which is how he became independently wealthy and was able to have a Firebolt delivered to Harry for Christmas.

The Demon King

I spent the month of August working on my book project and two academic essays, but I can’t stop thinking about the novel I want to write. I’m starting to get a sense of the story progression and the major twists in the plot, and I’m also beginning to visualize a few of the dramatic high points. Although I’m sure I could (and I will) write pages and pages of chapter outlines and character details, what I’d like to do first is write something resembling a pitch. I’m still working on this summary, but I thought I’d share what I have so far…

    Plot

People say that a tall and terrible tower rises from the dark heart of a wasteland swarming with evil, and that a dark lord reigns over the monsters of his hideous domain from the top of this tower. Balthazar is that dark lord, and he’s doing the best he can. Despite his godlike power, he just can’t get people to stop pestering him with administrative annoyances.

The biggest thorn in his side is the kingdom of Whitespire, which is ruled by Princess Ceres. Ceres is beautiful, flawless, and adored by her subjects, but she has an unpleasant habit of sending “heroes” into the wasteland to fight the demon king. Balthazar is nothing short of invincible, and no ordinary hero has the slightest hope of defeating him. Ceres knows this, which is why she uses Balthazar as an excuse to rid her kingdom of dangerous upstarts and dissidents. Balthazar knows exactly what’s going on, but he tolerates it. In fact, he and Ceres are in regular communication. Although they get on each other’s nerves, the demon king and the princess are secret allies and perhaps even something resembling friends.

This state of affairs is disturbed by rumors that a hero has drawn the Dawnsword sleeping deep in the caverns under Whitespire Castle. This sword is an ancient relic believed to have been forged by the very goddesses who created the world. The rumors that a hero has drawn the legendary sword prove to be true, and before long this hero appears in the wastelands, demanding the right to challenge the demon king. Balthazar has the hero escorted to his tower, only to find that she is all of ten years old. The girl can’t seem to remember how she drew the sword, where she came from, or even her own name. Not knowing what else to do, Balthazar decides to care for her until he can figure out how to destroy the Dawnsword, which is indeed the only weapon capable of harming him. He calls the girl Hero, and the name sticks.

    Characters

Balthazar is a wizard whose power is without equal among mortals. He built the tower that rises over the wastelands through the sheer force of his will, and the scale of the monument has attracted other nonhuman races to the territories he has claimed. He is a competent administrator but not a particularly nice person. He’s called “the demon king” not just because of his fierce temper but also because he is a rare full-blooded demon. Despite being large and muscular, Balthazar finds violence distasteful and often leaves the dirty work of dealing with invading “heroes” to his four generals. His hobbies include dressing in flashy outfits and reading trashy romance novels. He’s in his late thirties but looks much older.

Ceres, the radiantly beautiful princess of Whitespire, is in her thirties but looks much younger, an illusion she goes to great lengths to maintain. She has inherited the magical abilities of the royal bloodline, but she’s careful not to draw attention to the true extent of her power. As the public face of the monarchy, Ceres seems to be a paragon of wisdom and virtue, but she employs a number of confidants to conduct her business from the shadows. In fact, Balthazar may be one of the least unsavory people who knows her true face. Ceres is constantly under a great deal of pressure, and she has a bit of a drinking problem.

Hero is a rude and savage girl of unknown origins who seems to be roughly ten years old. She managed to draw the sacred Dawnsworn that has been sleeping under Whitespire Castle for hundreds of years, but no one knew anything about her before she suddenly appeared at the castle gates claiming that she would be the one to defeat the demon king. Although Hero is generally good-natured, she fights with the skill of an experienced warrior, and she possesses extraordinary powers that tend to manifest at inopportune times. She worships and adores Ceres but only barely tolerates Balthazar.

Dark Lord Cares for Wayward Child

I’ve written a lot of fanfic during the past two years, and I just finished up a huge project that got some great feedback along the way.

I’m starting to think about “the next step” after fandom, and I think I’d like to get more into comics. I just approached two artists to ask about commissioning some short fancomics, which will hopefully help me get a bit of practice. I’m very nervous about this; but I also feel that, if I have good ideas and the resources to bring them to fruition, then I should go for it!

I’m also starting to think about original projects. I’ve been playing with an idea for a novel that I’m currently referring to by the title “Dark Lord Cares for Wayward Child,” and it goes something like this…

There is Dark Lord who looks like a huge buff meathead but is actually a powerful wizard. Maybe he’s an orc? Or some other sort of monster? Anyway, he lives in a tower in the wastelands of a high fantasy kingdom. There are nothing but ruins (dungeons and such) in this area, but the understanding within the kingdom is that he has taken territory that does not belong to him and is threatening the border. He does indeed have secret nefarious plans (involving elder gods or something of that nature), but he doesn’t really care about the kingdom at all and simply sees himself as keeping the peace by providing a sanctuary of sorts for other monsters.

One day a hero comes to slay the Dark Lord, but it turns out that this “hero” is a ten-year-old girl. She’s somehow managed to get her hands on a magical sword that could technically defeat him, but how it came into her possession is something of a mystery. In any case, it turns out that this girl doesn’t have anywhere else to go, so the Dark Lord decides to keep her with him in sort of a Dread Pirate Roberts “I’ll most likely kill you in the morning” situation. Not killing the girl turns out to be a challenge, as she’s headstrong and a complete savage.

Meanwhile, the Dark Lord is corresponding (via magic?) with the reigning adult princess of the kingdom. The princess doesn’t particularly see him as a threat, but she also doesn’t want her kingdom to have to go to war with him. She’s been trying to put it off as long as possible, and in the meantime she blames everything that goes wrong on the Dark Lord. They are awful and catty and cruel to one another, and it’s very clear to their respective minions that they’re totally in love.

The four intersecting storylines are therefore the Dark Lord’s progress toward his secret nefarious plot, the identity of the child hero and the provenance of her sword, the growing tensions between the castle and the tower, and the love story between the Dark Lord and the princess. What pulls everything together, however, are the shenanigans of the child hero and the over-the-top angry responses of the Dark Lord.

This still needs some polishing, as well as named characters and a better title, but I’ve been amusing myself by imagining the plot as a series of four-panel gag manga. Perhaps I could write both the novel and a comic strip simultaneously…?